you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
