ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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