dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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