I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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