i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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