I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
