I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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