I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
