Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
