is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
