omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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