Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
