i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
