does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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