apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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