6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize