and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
