Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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