Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
