i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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