i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
