Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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