oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
