Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
