We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
