Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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