plz talk dirty to me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dignity is for republicans.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your cock deserves a montage
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
