You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize