love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
