Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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