remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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