I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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