i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
where are you?
Hypothermia
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
