I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
