Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize