I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
