It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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