ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think i got beer on your cat.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
