I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
