Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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