and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
