you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
