Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
