he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
