I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
