i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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