I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize