His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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