Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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