I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
