She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
