I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
