Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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