I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
