The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
