This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
