we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
