I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
