There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
