Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When are your genitals available?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
