He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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