Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
