what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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