if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
