did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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