Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
