dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
