That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
