he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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