??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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