i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
