she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize