I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize