so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
