i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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