I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This is the high leading the old right now
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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