jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
