there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
