I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
