Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
BRING THE BAGELS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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