About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
