So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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